Heaving Breasts and Harry Potter - Belle Movie Review

Belle may be rated PG, but it has more going for it than just the squeaky clean Disney-esque rating would suggest.  Don't get me wrong, there's plenty of heaving of corseted breasts, just no actual bodice ripping.  In fact, the two female leads seemed to be competing to see who could show more breast, shove or heave it higher.  However, it turns out this is more of a political film than a mere chick flick or period piece.  Think of it as Lincoln meets Sense & Sensibility, no let's go with the weaker Emma. 

The established actors in this movie (Emily Watson, Tom Wilkinson and Miranda Richardson) bring needed depth, but are basically wasted in this movie.  However, it was fun to see the conniving characters from Harry Potter brought back to life in the mini reunion between Miranda (Rita Skeeter) and Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy).  I really thought at any moment that Mr. Felton was going to spit Harry's name on accident.  Unfortunately, the lead actress doesn't bring much but a pretty pout and pretty cry to the role, which I suppose is suited to the PG rating and is sufficient to get the point across.

The movie starts off as the story of the lead character who is actually referred to by her first name, Dido, throughout the movie.  Her early years are almost comically curtailed into a very choppy and lacking reminiscence of missed opportunities that could have helped support the storyline better along the way.  However, after we arrive at the present day of the heart of the film, that's when the screenplay shines.  Dido's coming out as a young woman coincides with her crashing into the real world of repressed and racist slavetime England.  As she develops as a young woman and an independent mind, it becomes clear that this is the thread of the story that is why the movie was made.  The politics of slavery in England was new to me and since this is based on a true story, kept my interest, while the typical Jane Austen style romance and societal issues go on in the background.


Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Seth MacFarlane Can Act? - A Million Ways to Die in the West Movie Review

How  many of you have seen Seth MacFarlane in a leading role?  In fact, how  many of you have seen him act on screen for more than just a few minutes at a time?  His presence in a couple of Gilmore Girls episodes has thus far more than sufficed for me.   I figured the reason he cast himself in the lead in this particular movie is because his love interests were Amanda Siefried and Charlize Theron, but it wasn't very long into the movie before it hit me - he can act.

Going into the movie, I already knew my general tolerance level for MacFarlane-written antics, my approximate 5 minute Family Guy limit but making it all the way through Ted...this movie was at once sweeter and raunchier than those.  It was kind of adorably cringe-worthy.  For myself, I've learned there's a line in a movie that once crossed, means I don't care to see the film again and can only recommend the entire film to a select few.  Yes, MacFarlane crossed that line again...and again in Million Ways.  However, I want to make it clear that it was funny and clever and I appreciate this homage to Blazing Saddles (there were some particularly good bits about farts, if you can believe it).

There are a few scenes that either went too far or too long for my taste, which I have grown to expect, so consider yourself forewarned.  However, it is also laugh out loud funny and enjoyable to watch the rest of the time.  I love the layering of modern day sensibilities over the absurdities of the past.  MacFarlane has written and directed a clever satirical screenplay that plays like a loving roast of the old western.  There are also so many small roles and cameos, that it is clear everyone in Hollywood wanted a piece of this movie.

Another caveat, however.  If you are familiar with his work, you know that he also blurs the lines of racism, sexism and any other -ism he can get his hands on.  You may fall on the opposite side of those lines several times during this movie, as did I, but it remains to be seen if any actual controversy will arise.  I'm confident the worst of it was left on the cutting room floor, however.

3 out of 5 stars

Mom, Bikers and, oh what the heck, God! - Mom's Night Out Movie Review

There has been a new trend in movies lately, well it's not new, it's one of the oldest ideas actually - God.  In movies like Heaven is For Real, Noah and Son of God, I knew about the religious aspects when I bought my ticket.  However, in Mom's Night Out, I did not.  This is a full on God movie, people, so just know that going in.  I saw all those other movies, so I don't have a problem with that theme in itself, but I like to know what kind of movie I'm paying for up front.  Of course, knowing that much ahead of time would not have saved this movie anyway (pun intended).

Rest assured, there is definitely an audience for this movie, and there were 3 older folks in the theatre with us to prove that point.  Sweet PTA moms and very small children might like it as well.  However, it was not funny and where it tried to be heartwarming, it failed almost entirely as well.  With a respectable cast with their hearts in the right places, I believe I have a right to expect more.  The best part was the much more than just a cameo role of Trace Adkins as a biker.  He wasn't quite a revelation, but he can actually act.   The lead actress you can tell was meant to burst on the scene with this movie, but I'm afraid she's going to have trouble building a resume off this one.

I guess I was looking for what the previews promised - a madcap, but sweet (rated just PG!) story about moms having a night away from their kids, but I did expect funny and didn't come to be told I'm good enough because Jesus loves me.  I know all that.

2 out of 5 stars

The Boy in the Striped Pajamas (another tirade on the rating system)

So, last night my nearly 11 year old daughter and I watched the acclaimed Boy in the Striped Pajamas from 2008, rated PG-13.  She had been begging me for days and I knew it was a well-received movie and stars one of our favorite child actors, Asa Butterfield (Hugo, Ender's Game), but I also knew that it was about Nazi Germany and concentration camps, so I worried that it would be too intense or graphic for her.  I finally looked at the rating to guide me and was surprised to find it rated PG-13, so I said we could watch it together.  My daughter is a huge film buff and very mature for her age.  In fact, they are reading Anne Frank in her class right now, so it all seemed appropriate.

I think I have to stop looking at ratings to guide me at all.  Even up to the very end of this movie, when we were worried for the lead character of the film and starting to cry, (SPOILERS) I assured her we should get through the bad to see the good at the end of the movie and that probably the worst would not happen to the main character, an 8 year old boy.  I was wrong.  I spent the next hour talking my daughter through the message of movies like this and how creating and seeing stories like this helps us not to repeat the mistakes of the past and that the "bad" characters in the movie themselves learned something from the final result as well, etc.

When will the ratings setters learn that disturbing and complicated themes are FAR WORSE than a few "F" words or flashes of boobs in a movie!?  I say again, those latter items can easily be explained and controlled when a child sees them, but difficult and upsetting stories need much more attention from a parent and a special relationship with the child that allows for intricate conversations, vocabulary and context that I'm afraid most families aren't prepared for.  Thank God I was.  I took that risk, but I don't know if I will again. 

We just saw Bad Words with Jason Bateman, which was Rated R and had about every curse word and inappropriate behavior that could happen in one movie and yet the story itself was sweet and heartwarming and ultimately just illicited giggles but needed almost no explanation - my daughter knows what's appropriate and what is not.  She does not, however, understand the many and varied evils that human kind can inflict on itself or as in my previous post on this subject, unexplained supernatural evils as in the movie Mama, also rated PG-13.

What is the point of these ratings if not to help guide parents?  I am telling you right now that you should IGNORE them entirely.  Know your child, go online and find all you can on a movie before they see it, spoilers be damned, and watch and discuss as necessary with your child.  That is all we can do as parents until the raters wake up and see the importance of their job.

(in the end, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas is as good as its reputation and well worth seeing, when you feel it is appropriate for your child)

Movie Review: 3 Days to Kill

 

Let's be honest.  you don't go to see 3 Days to Kill expecting high art.  All you want is to be entertained by one of the most reliably likeable on screen heroes of a certain generation.  Spoiler: You get that here.  With that out of the way, let me give some details.

Yes, the plot is a bit contrived, with the hero is dying and an estranged wife and daughter.  Yes, the femme fatale role (played with Jessica Rabbit cartoonish relish by Amber Heard) is a bit over the top, complete with sinister snake rattle whenever she appears on screen.  I'm still not sure if the scene where he attempts to teach his teenage daughter how to ride a bicycle on the streets of Paris is supposed to evoke the Raindrops Keep Falling on my Head scene from Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid or not, but the sweetness actually worked on me, once I had settled into the overall tone of the movie.  There's a bit of a European twist as well, with squatters showing up in his oft-empty flat, but even here there is just more opportunity for teary eyed sentimentalism.  Again, it worked well enough for me.

I already told you I didn't mind the fairly contrived storyline, but in case you, the audience, do, there are plenty of tried and true Kevin Costner moments to remind you of why you like him, including his much maligned "western" wear from the Parisian perspective.  There's even a "Bodyguard" type moment orchestrated, I'm guessing, to bring back a time when all of America was fonder of Kevin Costner than nowadays, only with his character carrying his daughter out of a seedy nightclub and away from a group of groping guys (yes, I went for it with the alliteration there), not Whitney Houston.  In case you forgot where the movie was set, or just to make the movie even more likeable, the director also chooses the Eiffel Tower for the backdrop as much as possible.

Costner himself is as dependable as always. 'Nuff said.  I'd like to comment on the women now.  Haliee Steinfeld is as good as I've seen her, including her Oscar nominated debut in True Grit.  She's growing into a full teenager very naturally.  Costner's wife is played by Connie Nielsen, who I haven't seen since Gladiator, but she must have made an impression then, because I knew I knew her from somewhere and now looking at her roles since then on IMDB, I'm surprised she hasn't been more utilized.  She's beautiful and mesmerizing in both roles, however skimpy they are, and I'd like to add also age appropriate for Costner in 3 Days.

One more note on the title of this film.  Yes, Costner's character has approximately 3 Days to Kill someone in this movie, but the only time the phrase is uttered is by his daughter, who sees his sudden visit to reconnect with her as just because he has "3 days to kill", for lack of anything better to do.  I always appreciate plays on words - they're my favorite.

3 out of 5 stars

Oscar Predictions for Tonight and MY Favorite 2013 Films

This is who I predict to win tonight:

Best Picture: 12 Years A Slave
Best Director: Alfonso Cuarón, Gravity
Best Actor: Matthew McConaughey
Best Actress: Cate Blanchett
Best Supporting Actor: Jared Leto
Best Supporting Actress: Lupita Nyong'o
Best Screenplay: Before Midnight
Best Adapted Screenplay: American Hustle
Best Animated Feature: Frozen
Best Cinematography: Gravity
Best Costume Design: Great Gatsby
Best Foreign Language Film: The Great Beauty
Best Makeup & Hairstyling: Dallas Buyers Club
Best Original Score: The Book Thief
Best Original Song: Happy, Despicable Me 2
Best Visual Effects: Gravity

Here are my favorite films of 2013:

1. Dallas Buyers Club

The rest, in no particular order:

The Way Way Back
Mitty
Wadjda
Captain Phillips
Philomena
We're The Millers
The Book Thief
The Heat
Ender's Game
Pain and Gain
Lone Survivor
Identity Thief
Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs 2

Still to be seen from 2013: Short Term 12, Her, Blue is the Warmest Color, 12 Years A Slave, All is Lost, Don Jon, August Osage County, Enough Said

Review: The Lego Movie - Everything is NOT Awesome

First, let me say that the Lego Movie is cute. Cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute, cute.  However, it also marks the second animated movie in the past 3 months that has surpassed all monetary expectations and audience obsessions while simultaneously getting this response from me: meh.

Yes, as I said, this movie was downright adorable.  I loved the nostalgia of the Legos themselves and the many, MANY characters in the movie that have been created over the years in that little plastic form, like Gandolf, Wonder Woman and of course, Batman, who got all the best lines (although Dumbledore's high-pitched voice was slightly offensive as a thinly veiled reference to a bit of trivia probably only adult fans of Harry Potter know).  However, that reminiscence really only went so far for me, as the adult viewer.  On the other hand, I think Princess Uni-Kitty sustained my 10 year old daughter for the entire film.  She loved it, of course.  Warning to parents: there is a Lego character decapitation scene, second only to (no spoilers) a recent Walking Dead be-heading.

One of my favorite parts was when a Lego character attempted to use speech recognition to interact with a computer, with the usual difficulties we are all accustomed to.  The reason I particularly enjoyed it is that I work on speech systems and usually these specific theatrical moments are aimed at IVRs, but this one seemed more about Siri and I'm enjoying this trend.  The overall theme of "We're All Special!" is the mantra of Generation X and Y and drilled into the minds of their children of today, for better or worse.  Also, I know I'm supposed to love the theme song, Everthing is Awesome, but I expect better from Tegan & Sara, so, just no.

One more note: There is a nice live action sequence toward the end that was probably aimed more at making the audience buy more Legos than at actually fulfilling the storyline, but Will Ferrell sort of phoned it in and the child actor was also lackluster.  As if the opening weekend numbers didn't spell sequel already, the final moments of the movie set it up perfectly.

3.25 out of 5 stars